Brenda Clubine

Sin By Silence will be airing on Investigation Discovery. This is such an amazing opportunity to touch lives, especially those who are still trapped in an abusive relationship at this time. I was thinking about when I felt so trapped and alone. I felt like there was no one I could trust anymore. I knew that since my abuser, the one person in my life that said he loved me was literally destroying me as a person, I remember the feeling of being in fear 24/7 worrying about every little thing I was doing or was going to do,  I had no idea what to even do.  I had no friends left, because anyone who even had the courage to still be in my life, were so afraid to even try and reach out to me any more due to past events from my abuser destroying their homes, threatening them, etc. I remember it felt so overwhelming to me, I felt so alone, it was almost as if I had been left behind by everyone.

There was no question to me that no one really understood what I was going through. That all of their well meaning advice really didn’t help when what I needed most was just one person to truly hear me, to tell me I wasn’t alone, that they would help me. That I deserved better, that the abuse could end and that I could safe. WOW, what I would have given just to hear those words.

Today, I am writing this so whoever you are reading this now, that you know, that you are not alone, that I understand the nightmare you are living, that although it seems like it’s never going to end and there is no escaping the abuse, it can end, there are resources and options available to you today that were not available to me when I needed it most. It’s okay to be afraid, you can do it. I never thought I could as much as I tried, over and over to leave many times, I kept going back for many reasons, the biggest being I didn’t know better, the threats got worse and worse, there was no where else to turn. It took a lot of strength and courage to leave each time that I did, I jst never understood at the time that I could have made it, I never thought I could. Let me tell you that you can make it, that you don’t have to live in a nightmare any more.

Reach out to someone, anyone that you feel in your gut is going to help you make that step. I’ve learned a lot about following my gut or instinct if that’s what they call it, I no longer live in fear every day, I am proud of who I am, I will no longer tolerate any form of abuse in my life. I want you to know, most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE…feel free to get in touch even if you just need someone to talk to. Thanks for the chance to share my experience with you.