20 Years Ago CWAA Began
Wow, what an evening! Tonight I went back to the prison where I was incarcerated for 26 years to share the evening with women of Convicted Women Against Abuse the group I founded twenty years ago. I wish I could really explain what it felt like getting closer to the prison. I had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to vomit and my knees wanting to go out from under me. I was an absolute basket case not really knowing what to expect.
Upon entering the parking lot and exiting my car, I began to feel dizzy and lightheaded and the overwhelming feeling of heartbreak. I then entered the building and after handing over my identification I attempted to go through the metal detector, which by the way took me about five tries to finally be cleared. I at first thought it was my jewelry, which I removed, and then after still setting off the detector I realized it was my heels. (go figure) Needless to say, this did not help my already rising anxiety.
As we began our trek onto the yard of CIW towards the Aud. where the banquet was to be held I was immediately informed that I was not to hug any of the ladies for any reason. I of course already knew this, but it did not make it any easier as it bothered me not being able to acknowledge with each of them how much I miss them and carry them with me at all times.
I was asked by the Chairperson, a long time friend of mine Margaret, if I would present certificates as well as be the guest speaker for the evening.
As I was called up to speak, and once on the stage looking out at all of my sisters, I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of guilt that I was free and yet they weren’t. This feeling became more intense as the evening progressed. I attemped to share with the ladies those things that we all take for granted out here, that most never even think about like an automatic flushing toilet, a sink that turns on without a handle, just by the nature of you putting your hands under the faucet, automatic hand towel machines, etc. As I did this it my broke my heart to see so many of the same faces that are still there after almost twenty years, for most still members of CWAA.
I was then called up again and presented with a certificate as the Founder of Convicted Women Against Abuse. I was truly and unequivocally humbled by their presentation to me.
Never do I forget why I fought so hard to found CWAA, and it has been the most rewarding and amazing journey to see the growth and spirit of my sisters who have survived years of abuse…yet still remain in a justice system that still does not get it!
I was again reminded upon leaving at the end of a wonderful evening why it is so important to me to give these women a voice and no longer allow them to be treated as nameless and faceless women.
The documentary which I am a part of, Sin by Silence, represents so many of the women of CWAA and the cost of violence in their lives. When will the injustice end and these women be given the chance to show they are more than a number, they are our sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmother and friend.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
What an amazing story by an amazing woman! Thank you for all that you do.
June 4th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Sarah,
I don’t feel that I am an amazing woman, I just feel a conviction of my heart and spirit to make a difference in the world of domestic violence and if I can help even one person, then this has all been for a meaningful purpose. Thank you so much for your kind words.
June 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Hi, very nice post,so thanks for posting.
June 14th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Jane, thanks for the shout out. It’s important to give this too silent tragedy a voice.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Dear Brenda: You truly are a strong woman. I am so thankful I found this website. I was an abused wife for 5 years but I got out, I knew the end result would either be the death of me or him. I have a good friend, Nancy Seaman, who is presently incarcerated at Huron Valley Correctional Facility in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Her sentence is life without parole for defending herself against her abusive husband. I want to find out more about your work.
Sincerely,
September 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Joyce,I am honored that you have chosen to share with me not only about your own situation but your strength as a survivor as well. My heart truly goes out to your friend and I ask that you visit Sinbysilence.com to get further information. You can further contact me directly if you would like as I would love to keep in touch. I honor your strength and caring and look forward to hearing from you again.
July 4th, 2010 at 10:50 am
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July 17th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Usually I do not make comments on blogs, but I have to mention that this article truly forced me to do so. Truly admirable!
August 18th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Gary, creating change and giving a voice to the tragedy and silence of abuse is where making a difference starts. Thank you for your kind words.
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