On October 22, 2008 Brenda Clubine was released from prison after serving 26 years for defending herself against her abusive husband.
She now continues with her advocacy by speaking out about the dangers of abusive relationships in hopes that people will continue to make a difference in the struggle against domestic violence.
It was now time to return to California and a driver would be picking us up for a trip to a studio for me to be on the “Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell” Show. It seemed like the flight took forever and finally we were on the ground and the driver was waiting for us and off we went. I will admit I was a nervous wreck and Olivia kept telling me to relax everything would be great. We arrived at the satellite studio since there was no way we would make it to the CNN studio in Hollywood with the traffic. Once inside we were given a brief tour and I was shown to the dressing/make-up room where I would have the chance to get ready for the interview. Olivia and the driver left for a few minutes so they could get us a bite to eat. Once I was dressed and almost done with my make-up a real make-up artist arrived and finished my make-up for the show. Before I knew it, it was time to go on air. It was so awesome to have the chance to speak not only about my story specifically during domestic violence awareness month but also have the chance to hopefully reach out with a message of hope to other victims that they have options and there is help today for them. The interview was now over and I truly felt great about it. It was nice once I got home for the night and over the next several days to read the comments people had made on facebook on the show’s facebook page.
I arrived at the airport in Ontario heading for Chicago midway ultimately heading for Columbus, Ohio airport. Olivia and I would be able to meet up in Chicago and make the remainder of the trip to Ohio together. Once in Ohio, we rented a car and headed toward the hotel to get some much needed rest and prepare for our event the next morning.
The next morning we headed to our event in a Wilderness Preserve area which was beautifully kept. I never would have thought that such a place would exist in the wooded area that it did. Come to find out it was really a hippie town of old days and really cute to say the least. Our event entailed a power point presentation after the film. The event was attended by social agencies and service providers for the surrounding counties. What an awesome group of people! It was quite clear that once again there was a room full of providers that on fire to continue there work with a renewed sense of empowerment that they are doing a great job!! I personally enjoyed meeting each and everyone of the attendees just as Olivia did as well. On the breaks we could hear the birds and you could even purchase bird seed to feed them if you wanted to. After an entire day of training and screening the film it was time to get some dinner which we found a local pizza place which was good considering we really had no idea where to go for dinner. We had some time to kill before our evening presentation at a local high school. The event for the evening was a local high school and each of the attendees were instructed to bring a food item for the
local Family Violence Prevention Center of Greene County.
It was wonderful to see the students arrive with everything from canned goods to noodles. Many would run in the door and inquire for their parent driving them when the event would end so that they could be picked-up on time. Soon both Olivia and I realized that the average age of the young people attending for the evening was between 13-15 years old. How awesome was that!! This was a great opportunity to speak to these young people about healthy relationships and have them ask a lot of really good questions and have some great open discussion. There were a few young people who broke down sharing the experience of either their mom or grandmother being in an abusive situation and how they could still remember what it was like. Our hearts were touched by these young students and I was so happy I had the chance to be there and meet them. At the end of the evening we took a group photo and it was really cool. Thanks students for making this such a memorable evening for us.
The next day we had the opportunity to tour the shelter where the Family Violence Prevention Center is. What a great group of staff and volunteers as well as the Detectives that are assigned there and respond to family violence calls. There are social workers assigned that ride with the detective to calls for family violence victims. It was as usual so awesome to see the ladies at the shelter and have them share with us. This is truly where my heart lies. I only wish I had a shelter to turn to that was there for me when I needed it. That evening we had another event a a University out a ways from where we had been. It was nice to be at a University where religion is just as important as their studies. There was a good group of students, some community members, and faculty in attendance. This was another opportunity to change lives and be able to physically it happen. You could see those attending on fire to make a difference and that is what matters. They sign-up to volunteer for the Family Violence Prevention Center and see what else they could do. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING THE TRIP TO OHIO AN AMAZING TIME!!! I hope to return again.
After leaving Arcata, once again I flew to Seattle, Washington to complete the events I had scheduled there. I arrived to be picked-up by a dear friend who attended CWAA as a volunteer and worked with Olivia and all the others who were part of Sin By Silence. Katie is a professor at the University where I will be speaking on Monday and it was great to be able to stay with her and her husband for the duration of my trip. Monday arrived and I went to PLU aka (Pacific Lutheran University) with Katie so that we could meet some ladies that will be participating in the screening for lunch. What a cool time we had being able to talk about the evening and also have an introduction time at the table where everyone spoke on why the film was so important in their lives and how it touched them. It was a great time and I am so glad we had the chance to do it. Evening was fast approaching and time to prepare for the screening on the other side of the Campus. Speaking of the Campus boy was it green and beautiful, what can I say, it is all the rain that keeps the beauty in Seattle.
So, the evening event was going to be in a classroom that normally held lectures. You know, one like you would normally see in the movies. Anyhow, Katie went about ensuring the equipment was in working order and everyone started rushing around to be ready on time. Local organizations attended and that is always so helpful no matter where I am since then people know where they can volunteer, and also go or refer someone if they need help. After I spoke, a Q&A was done and everyone once again was very interactive and had a lot of good insight into what they would and could do to help someone or them self. After Q&A and before the close of the evening I was presented with a birthday cake as it was my birthday. It truly touched my heart and I want to thank each and everyone that were there to make it happen and to share it with me.
On Wednesday October 13th I had the opportunity to do another screening at PLU. This time the event was being held in there Scandinavian Cultural Center. There was a good crowd for the last screening and it really was clear these students, community and faculty that attended really are on fire to make a difference. It was great to have the chance to return again since Olivia and I while on tour with the film last year had the chance to go to PLU for a screening. It really felt like being home in a lot of ways being there again. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR AN AMAZING TIME AT PLU!!! I hope to return again.
I left Wisconsin on my way to Seattle, Washington. On the 6th I had an event at Pierce College Puyallup Campus. I arrived in the mid-morning and proceeded to the room for the event. Once there I was met by several students and the staff host for the event. Sin By Silence began to screen after a brief introduction. You could have heard a pin drop it was so silent in the room. Unfortunately, due to time constraints many students had to leave prior to discussion and open Q&A. This did not in any detract from the interaction of those who were able to stay. A young woman shared that at the time she was dealing with a potentially violent situation and openly asked for help. It was great to see that once again, Sin By Silence opened the doors for people to feel comfortable and speak about their current situations. I call these experiences MAGIC, by this I mean, it is the impetus that is needed to have someone reach out for help.
That same evening I then went the Pierce College Fort Steilcoom Campus. Once I arrived I proceeded to meet the staff host for the evening. After speaking for a few minutes we proceeded to the Fitness Center where the event was going to be held. We entered the building and were directed to the Gym where a stage of sorts had been placed and a screen for viewing Sin By Silence. Before I knew it students, staff, community members began to arrive with anticipation for the screening. It was obvious by the excitement growing in the room that people arriving were waiting to see the film and listen to my speaking. There were a lot of great questions asked after I spoke and it was evident that they were wanted to know what they could do to make a difference not only for the women in the film,, but in their communities, school and lives. This was another great opportunity to see the spark lit by those attending wanting to make a difference themselves.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING MY EXPERIENCE AT BOTH PIERCE COLLEGE SITES AN AMAZING TIME!!!
My Domestic Violence Awareness Month began on Sunday, October 3, 2010 leaving for Appleton, Wisconsin. I arrived in Wisconsin very excited about going to Fox Valley Technical College the next day for my event at the College driven by the staff host for the event. I arrived at the College taking in the sites there and went to the room where I would be speaking to set-up for the event, I was immediately met by several inquiring students eager for the event to begin. Students, faculty and a local shelter began to file in and take their seats. The shelter, Harbor House set up the back table so everyone would be aware of their local shelter. As I began to speak after about 10 minutes the fire alarm went off and we were all instructed to exit the building immediately and proceed to the parking lot area and wait for the alarm to be cleared for us to all re-enter the building again. Talk about starting an event with a bang, needless to say within about 15 minutes or so we were allowed to re-enter the building and I went back to where I left off. There was a lot of great interaction with everyone present, it was clear that everyone wanted to know what they could do not only for the women in the film but in their school and local communities. What an opportunity to make a difference!
The local shelter let everyone know they exist and are available when needed. The next day I was taken by one of the Harbor Shelter staff for a tour of the shelter. What an amazing group of staff and wow was I impressed by the size of the facility. Previously the shelter was a nursing home and what a blessing for the women who need a place. They welcome young and old alike. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR AN AMAZING TIME IN WISCONSIN!!! Hope to return again.
I recently had the honor of attending and speaking at the Women In Government Western Regional Conference held in Seattle, Washington. Talk about a room filled with POWER, spelt with capital letters. These women are the movers and shakers in their respective states that are striving to make a difference while in office. What an opportunity to share not only my story and Sin by Silence, but the story of the women of Convicted Women Against Abuse who remain behind prison walls due to a system where these women have fallen between the cracks.
The Legislators in attendance were eager to learn and more importantly, see where they can make change in the system in their areas, so that another woman does not have to live the nightmare myself and countless others have had to live, not only through an abusive relationship, but even further being placed into a justice system that has had deaf ears for far too long. It was the chance to put into a statistical format where the system remains broken, and how these powerful women who attended hold the chance for change in their state.
For me, this was truly a part of my “dream” come true, how having a voice is where change happens and not keeping silent makes the true difference. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of such a great experience!
I left on August 17th for Helena, Montana. I was heading to Montana to be a part of the Montana Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence Conference. I never had a clue how amazingly beautiful it would be, not only arriving but during the entire time I was there. The purpose of me being there, was to be the keynote speaker for their conference.
I must admit that this is such an honor each and every time I have the opportunity to attend and speak at a conference. Anyhow, typically there were agency workers, advocates, law enforcement officials, Judges, Scholars, etc. in attendance, it was AWESOME!! I don’t mean to sound in any way that this conference was better than other I have had the opportunity to attend, but there was such an openness and willingness to learn, and move forward that I was speechless. Yes, me being speechless is a rarity. But that being said, what I found to be so profound was the other people who spoke and how they not only acknowledged the short comings in their communities but what is working right over all.
I was touched by how they have gotten so much right with the laws their specific state has put into effect on behalf of a victim of either Domestic or Sexual abuse. I found myself saying over and over to the Director and Executive staff that I “just want to take Montana home with me” or for that matter “stay”. For the most part it is clear that each state has it’s own legislation or county laws in place. I continue to learn about what works and maybe what doesn’t as I travel from state to state.
The purpose of these types of conferences is to share information and gleen new ways from others to implement even more changes where necessary in their respective areas. I feel as I though I not only had the chance to give to others by sharing my personal story and the story of the women in Sin By Silence, but I also got so much from many of those who attended including an amazing Judge who fights daily to hold people accountable for their actions, a prosecutor who fights for the victims who are not heard, a police officer who tells a victim “I believe you”, and Indian woman an advocate, who gave of herself even though just experiencing a personal tragedy that most of us could never survive.
The Staff of MCADV and the countless others who I can not even begin to mention, who truly touched MY LIFE thank you!!
From July 31st through August 4th, I had the distinct opportunity as a Scholarship receipient to attend the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence conference held in Anaheim, CA. I must admit that being that close to Disneyland was sure an issue for me as I have not been there since I was about seven years old. Needless to say, being able to be a part of the conference was a very enlightening process for me. I was able to attend several workshops that were very informative.
In fact, I did a workshop with the National Clearinghouse for Battered Women, it was so great to see all the attendees be so eager to hear what they can do to help battered women who are incarcerated. There has been this huge disconnect between the victims of our communities and those who ultimately find themselves behind bars in a single moment of having to defend their own lives or the lives of their children. This also includes those who may be incarcerated due to the fact their abuser forced them to participate in a crime they were committing and if they hadn’t been a part would be killed themselves. What a fine line, “there by the grace of God go I” as they say.
It is difficult sometimes as I speak and have the chance to be a “sponge” as I call it at these conferences to find agency providers/advocates that feel it is not the same if you are incarcerated, that you are not a victim. Let me say right now that this is NOT the norm however, it is time that we all open our eyes and hearts to the possibility that there is NO difference that being a victim is what percipitated the event leading to prison. I appreciate the chance to educate others wether they are providers or advocates that have done this for years and never really took the time to know.
Thank you to everyone who allows the victims of abuse who are incarcerated to have a VOICE and be heard. Sin By Silence is an amazing documentation of women who remain in prison today because of the disconnect of our justice system that doesn’t want to hear,even today that these women deserve to be free. This was another wonderful opportunity to be a ”sponge” and take with me the tools to continue to make a difference! NCADV and the National Clearing House for the Defense of Battered Women, thank you! We all make a difference when we hear each other.
Prevention Connection: The Violence Against Women Prevention Partnership is a national project of the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault. The goal of Prevention Connection is to advance the primary prevention of violence against women by facilitating information sharing among people who are engaged in such efforts. Click here to have a listen to the interview with myself and the Sin by Silence team.
The local shelter let everyone know they exist and are available when needed. The next day I was taken by one of the Harbor Shelter staff for a tour of the shelter. What an amazing group of staff and wow was I impressed by the size of the facility. Previously the shelter was a nursing home and what a blessing for the women who need a place. They welcome young and old alike. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR AN AMAZING TIME IN WISCONSIN!!! Hope to return again.
