On October 22, 2008 Brenda Clubine was released from prison after serving 26 years for defending herself against her abusive husband.

She now continues with her advocacy by speaking out about the dangers of abusive relationships in hopes that people will continue to make a difference in the struggle against domestic violence.

"I waited and dreamed for 26 years to once again be able to feel the water on my toes at the beach.

I realize for some that isn't a big deal. But, for the morning after my release it was the most amazing moment I could have had!"

Archive: Helping a Victim of DV

Oct is DV Awareness Month

Don’t let my reality become another person’s nightmare! 

Share the story of my journey and CWAA with your family and friends this October, and help create awareness during Domestic Violence Awareness Month!

Click here to order your copy of Sin by Silence and start making a difference!

Prevention Connection Interview

Prevention Connection: The Violence Against Women Prevention Partnership is a national project of the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault. The goal of Prevention Connection is to advance the primary prevention of violence against women by facilitating information sharing among people who are engaged in such efforts.  Click here to have a listen to the interview with myself and the Sin by Silence team.

Legislative Action Days

I recently had the amazing opportunity to be part of the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence Legislative Action Days in Sacramento, California at the State Capitol. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I haven’t been fighting for victims now for more than 28 years, it’s just that being able to be there in person and truly have the chance to make a difference opened my my eyes in a way that I found to be very profound. It became very real to me that as we met with Assemblymembers and Senators we were the voice of countless nameless, faceless victims that could not speak for themselves due to being trapped in an abusive relationship.

We spoke of how imperative it is that SBX 313 be supported, or all of the shelters across the state will have no funding as their current funds are gone effective June 30th. How can anyone ask “why does she stay,” when we have the audacity not to ensure a safe place for her to go to when she does finally garner the courage to make that step and call? I have been asked more times than I would like to admit why didn’t I leave, and I say the same thing every time. If there was a simple answer to that question I would be rich! But, there isn’t…because for everyone it is different. I could begin by saying “I didn’t know better.” Then I could say that the threats and isolation left me feeling as though there there was no place for me to go. I could say when I did get the courage to call a shelter I felt utter helplessness when I was told they were full and could not help me. I could say that my husband would tirelessly hunt me down until he would find me and remind me that I could and would never survive without him. I was nothing and I believed it lock, stock and barrel.

I am grateful to be able to go to the Capitol and know that victims voices are being heard through people like myself and the members of CPEDV as well as the Sin By Silence filmmakers. I can truly say this was an experience for a lifetime to remember and I hope that I will have many more opportunities to advocate on behalf of domestic violence victims and survivors. This was my dream come true that I had waited to do and only could dream of.

You see, we can all make a difference!!

Stronger Today

There was once a time when I felt so alone and broken that I never imagined I would be able to feel any different. Coming from an abusive childhood and then in an abusive marriage, I knew in my spirit it was no good but I just didn’t know what to do. I felt as though I was not going to survive.

What makes the difference today? I am continuing to heal from my abusive past and that it is possible to do. But, I work with other victims in the hopes they do not have to live the same nightmare I lived at one time. It is awesome to know that I am not alone and I control my decisions for me today!

Today I Know Better

I remember cowering in the corner and actually begging my abuser to go ahead and hit me! I would rather that than be called the names I was being called and being told all the ugly things that could possibly be said about me. I actually thought I was all those words that were said.

It is not something that leaves scars on the outside, but on the inside and it was hard to explain to people what I was feeling. The great part is, today I know better! The healing has taken hold and I know that love doesn’t hurt and that words are very powerful. I also know that I am the keeper of life today, no one controls me.

Touring with Sin by Silence

WOW!! I can’t believe the Sin By Silence Tour has actually come to an end. I have had the most amazing and profound experiences being on the tour the past couple of months. I never imagined really being able to see and feel the passion and fire for change in the communities we were lucky enough to be a part of. I have personally met some awesome people and organizations that truly are working to make a difference. Could it get any better than this? NO!! And if you haven’t checked out Sin by Silence yet you can visit www.SinBySilence.com

I am beyond words grateful for Sin By Silence and the social change it has been effecting and will continue to do. The opportunity I was given, thanks to all those who contributed to this life changing documentary, and all those who sponsored us over the past several months in your homes, organizations, and communities is priceless. I look forward to continuing our new found relationships and working with those who continue to make a difference. I wish I could truly put into words what this entire experience has given me personally. I can only in what small way that I can, let each and every one who I have met know, that I am touched and thank you all for your support, and love.

Stop the Violence!

It’s been an amazing journey touring the country with Sin by Silence to help start important conversations that can save lives!

New film unsilences domestic violence stories

Great coverage on NBC in Springfield, MO…one of our many stops along the Sin by Silence tour!

The Banks of the Mississippi

Wow! New Orleans been a blast. I was able to attend the National Health and Domestic Violence Conference sponsored by the Family Violence Prevention Fund. This was an experience of a lifetime, that allowed me to attend some amazing workshops and then of course be a part of our own screening. I was able to meet Eve Ensler which was great, as well as hear some other great speakers of the event.

We had an amazing crowd at our screening, and those who work in the field of Domestic violence I truly honor your efforts and work that means more than most truly realize.

Saw some awesome night life and ate some wonderful food, I was even able to see an old friend that moved to Louisiana several years ago. Over all had an awesome time. When we gather in a an arena to strive for change in the field of Domestic Violence we make more than a DIFFERENCE possible for both the victims and survivors.

Thanks New Orleans for this awesome opportunity to be a part of making change.

The Wonders of New Mexico

We arrived in New Mexico at the Lodge and - WOW - was it amazing. That evening we had a screening at the Ruidoso High School open for the Community. After watching the film I was honored by the questions and interaction of the community members. What can I say other than this Community truly gets it!! They completely support their local shelter, The Nest and all they offer to the victims of domestic violence.

I the next day I was able to return to the High School again and speak to the drama class. What an awesome group of young people. These young people are eager to know the warning signs of abuse and the cycle of violence in teen dating and relationships. It meant a lot to speak to a couple of the young ladies afterward that shared with me they are or have been in an abusive relationship already and what it makes them feel. It means a lot to me that these young people realize they don’t deserve this type of behavior and that are worthy of a life free from abuse in all aspects.

The same evening we were invited to The Nest shelter and it was amazing. The staff that run this shelter truly care and work hard to ensure these women and children know they are safe and worthy and are given the tools necessary to live a life abuse free on their own.

During this evening, a medicine woman was in attendance to smudge the shelter of ugly spirits from abusers that linger in these victims lives. What an awesome experience to share!!! I was then personally saged and presented with an honor I can not begin to express, the Medal of Peace from the Mescalero Apache Reservation. What an absolutely profound experience. I want to say Thank you to not only the Community of Ruidoso for recognizing the victims of abuse and stepping-up but all those who give their time, love, support and prayers to the victims now survivors. It was an honor beyond words to be there!!